Ode to a Spell Checker

The Ode to a Spellchecker was written by Professor Jerrold H. Zar of Northern Illinois University and published in the January/February 1994 issue of the Journal of Irreproducible Results. It became widely circulated by e-mail and the attribution was lost.

According to the author, 127 of the 225 words of the poem, although spelled correctly, are incorrect.

THE POEM

Eye halve a spelling check her;
It came with my pea sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye kin knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it’s weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A check her is a bless sing;
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule;
The checker pours o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore wee rote with checkers
Hour spelling was inn deck line,
Butt now when wee dew have a laps,
Wee are knot maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier;
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud;
And wee mussed dew da best wee can
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

That’s why eye brake in two averse
Cuz eye dew want too please.
Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye
This soft wear four pea seas.

TRANSLATION

I have a spelling checker;
It came with my PC.
It plainly marks for my review
Mistakes I cannot see.

I ran this poem through it
You’re sure real glad to know.
It’s very polished in its way,
My checker told me so.

A checker is a blessing;
It frees you loads of time.
It helps me write, all styles to read,
And aids me when I rhyme.

Each phrase composed upon my screen
I trust to be a jewel;
The checker pores o’er every word
To check some spelling rule.

Before we wrote with checkers
Our spelling was in decline,
But now when we do have a lapse,
We are not made to whine.

But now because my spelling
Is checked with such great flair,
There are no faults within my sight,
Of none I am aware.

Now spelling does not faze me,
It does not bring a tear;
My papers all do gladden
With wrapped words fair as here.

To write with care is quite a feat
Of which one should be proud;
And we must do the best we can
So flaws are not allowed.

That’s why I break into a verse
Cause I do want to please.

So glad I am that I did buy
This software for PCs.

everything2.com/user/uucp/writeups/Ode+to+a+Spellchecker

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