Sigurno ste tijekom proteklih godinu dana došli na ti s "turcizmima ", "germanizmima" "hungarizmima'' u hrvatskom jeziku. Kako stojite s talijanizmima? Jeste li i s njima na ti ili ste na ćao-ćao? :D Vrijeme je odmora, sunca i mora pa bi bilo dobro upoznati se malo i s tim čarobnim riječima koje vas čekaju zajedno s galebima kad se spustite na more. Dakle, čim stignete na more, među prvim osobama koje ćete sresti bit će Luka, Toni, Nadalina i Mare. Na Luku se baš nećete moći osloniti da vam pokaže svoje malo misto jer će njemu stalno nešto biti pa iz dišpeta neće imati vremena ćakulati s vama već će stalno juriti ka svojoj maloj barki. Barba Toni će vam objasniti da vam ne treba busola jer je sve na dohvat ruke i preporučiti u koju butigu da odete dok vas bude pratio do obližnjeg diskonta. Šinjorina Mare pjevat će neku ariju poznate kancone s ponistre dok vješa lancune i sanja o tome da neki poznati bas zapjeva s njenim altom duet. Šjora Nadalina ići će svaki dan na posao u banku i zabavljati se debitom, akontacijama, bankrotom, netom i brutom i inim bankarskim zanimljivostima dok sprema gotovinu u škatulu. Za to će vrijeme će šinjorina Mare s ceduljom otići u nabavku po bakalara, balancana, makarone i pomidore. Prošli je mjesec već kupila nove teće i pjate. Kad se vrati kući, šjoru Nadalinu dočekat će, po običaju, hrpa šporkih šugamana koje treba oprati. Za to će vrijeme barba Toni gledati nekog bandita kako parkira svoju novu makinu i u kožnoj jaketi  se poput baruna šepiri na putu do taverne. Zatim će nebo poput akvarela postati škuro, doći će nevera, a prvi grom zazvonit će poput alarma i da skratimo priču, svi će lijepo sjesti na ćakulu kod šinjorine Mare. A sad adio; treba naučiti sve ove talijanizme prije no što dođe ferragosto.    

She's says / It means   You want  / You want We need / I want Do what you want / You'll pay for this later We need to talk / I need to complain Sure, go ahead / I don't want you to I'm not upset / Of course I'm upset, you moron This kitchen is so incovenient / I want a new house I want new curtains / and new carpeting, and new furniture... Do you love me? / I'm going to ask for something expensive You have to learn to communicate / Just agree with me Are you listening to me??? / [To late, you're dead!] Yes / No No /  No Maybe / No I'm sorry / You'll be sorry The same old thing / Nothing Nothing / Everything Everything / It's my PMS    

Underwater and Underground. Things that we claim are underwater and underground are obviously surrounded by, not under the water and groundI lucked out. To luck out sounds as if you're out of luck. Don't you mean I lucked in? Because we speakers and writers of English seem to have our heads screwed on backwards, we constantly misperceive our bodies, often saying just the opposite of what we mean: Watch your head. I keep seeing this sign on low doorways, but I haven't figured out how to follow the instructions. Trying to watch your head is like trying to bite your teeth.They're head over heels in love. That's nice, but all of us do almost everything head over heels . If we are trying to create an image of people doing cartwheels and somersaults, why don't we say: They're heels over head in love? Put your best foot forward. Now let's see. . . . We have a good foot and a better foot -- but we don't have a third -- and best -- foot. It's our better foot we want to put forward. May the best team win. Usually there are only two teams in the contest. Keep a stiff upper lip. When we are disappointed or afraid, which lip do we try to control? The lower lip, of course, is the one we are trying to keep from quivering. I'm speaking tongue in cheek. So how can anyone understand you? They do things behind my back. You want they should do things in front of your back? They did it ass backwards. What's wrong with that? We do everything ass backwards.   Crazy English: the Ultimate Joy Ride Through Our Language, Richard Lederer (Pocket Books, 1989)        

A hot water heater. Who heats hot water? A hot cup of coffee. Here again the English language gets us in hot water. Who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot coffee.   Doughnut holes. Aren't those little treats really doughnut balls ? The holes are what's left in the original doughnut. And if a candy cane is shaped like a cane, why isn't a doughnut shaped like a nut?   I want to have my cake and eat it too. Shouldn't this timeworn be: I want to eat my cake and have it too? Isn't the logical sequence that one hopes to eat the cake and then still possess it?   A one-night stand. So who's standing? Similarly,to sleep with someone   The first century B.C. These hundred years occurred much longer ago than people imagined. What we call the first century B.C. was, in fact the last century B.C.   Daylight saving time. Not a single second of daylight is saved by this ploy.   The announcement was made by a nameless official. Just about everyone has a name, even officials. Surely what is meant is: The announcement was made by an unnamed official.   Preplan, preboard, preheat, and prerecord. Aren't people who do this simply planning, boarding, heating, and recording? Who needs the pre-tentious prefix?   Put on your shoes and socks. This is an exceedingly difficult maneuver. Most of us put on our socks first, then our shoes.   The bus goes back and forth between the terminal and the airport. Again we find mass confusion about the order of events. You have to go forth before you can go back.   I got caught in one of the biggest traffic bottlenecks of the year. The bigger the bottleneck, the more freely the contents of the bottle flow through it. To be true to the metaphor, we should say: I got caught in one of the smallest traffic bottlenecks of the year.   Crazy English: the Ultimate Joy Ride Through Our Language, Richard Lederer (Pocket Books, 1989)